The Swiss Army knife is a badge. An icon. A symbol that speaks for you, and says, "I could go into the woods, right now, with nothing more than this knife, the clothes on my back, and a Snickers bar".


Unless, of course, you have the Butlers version — which prepares you for very little, except popping the cork on a vintage you paired with cheap tinned spaghetti. That's priorities. That's culture.

So, don't be un-cultured. Definitely don't be un-prepared. If you don't have a Swiss Army knife stashed in your pack you're basically begging to be lost in the woods with only a bottle of Chateau Margaux and a slab of cheese. Sounds implausible? Perhaps, but don't come crying to me if you die of dehydration clutching a bottle of wine you couldn't open. 

Knife me —